Running Ptttttt

I have not had the best relationship with running this past week.

On my Tuesday night run with Bill (same boring course, same low-mileage, same 3 minute run 2 minute walk) I felt like I was ridiculously slow. I THINK it might have been because I felt like Bill was continuously 3 steps ahead of me (which he was for most of the run). But when I checked my time at the end of the run, I really was only 1 minute off of where I normally am. And that's 1 minute for the whole thing, not pacingwise.

I am just really tired of feeling slow. I see other girls running in the park and I want to hit them. Especially when they are wearing cute little shorts and tight fitting tanks. Me, on the other hand? Well, my options at this point are my baggiest shorts from Target, which aren't even running shorts but those generic type "sports" shorts made out of thick synthetic material and any of my longer running shirts which are tight and I can't keep over my belly OR one of Bill's shirts which look ridiculously boxy and male on me. Not attractive. Oh and did I mention that on top of this I am a total sweat bucket during my runs? At this point I am not going to invest in maternity running wear because I have less than 8 weeks to go. So I guess I will stick with my two options and just begrudge the other girls in the park.

And don't even talk to me about my weekend run. Or should I say "the run that never happened"?

I pretty much didn't want to go. Besides I had twelve million other things I needed us to do this weekend (crazy nesting syndrome) so a run was just going to take up precious time that I felt I didn't have. Bill and I even mapped out our distance so that we could run to the park, around the loop and to Home Depot so that we weren't wasting any time. Well, the run to the park sucked. And then I about had a mental breakdown about how much I hated running and felt like there was too much to do to be running right now. I was reminded that it is never good to do a workout when you feel like that, so we revised the plan to just walking to Home Depot. I guess we got some of the mileage in at least. And sadly enough, my legs totally felt it like I had actually run a lot of mileage when I woke up this morning.

I know, I know. Quit running, right? I put in a good effort and if it's not going well I should quit.

But that's not it. I still don't hate running. I just want to go back to the days where I was jauntily sweeping around the park loops at a good pace (without walking) in a cute outfit with some fun running friends, getting excited about my fall marathon coming up. I miss pushing myself to where sometime I felt like I was going to puke, and getting PRs, and (believe it or not) doing hard hillwork sessions. I know I will get back to this again (Bill keeps reminding me that this is why we got a good running stroller) but I am frustrated that it is not now.

I was invited to a TNT alumni run tomorrow, which I am pretty excited about. If nothing else it will be nice to see everyone again. I don't know how much of the actual run I will be able to keep up with, but we'll see.