Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Hurrah!

Hill month is over!!!! Thank goodness. I also just got Ramon's new schedule and it looks like August is going to be MUCH nicer. We even have some shorter (tenish miles) long runs, and NO running on Fridays.

Last night was tough, but because the run was broken up into different sections you didn't have too much time to think about it because your mind was always going. It was basically a series of tempo runs. The goal was to build up a lot of lactic acid in your muscles and then see if you could overcome it.

The first part was a warm-up, from East 85th to 102nd. I made sure I wasn't speeding on this one, like I like to do. From there we were supposed to run FAST down the Lasker Pool hill and up that mean and awful Harlem Hill. Our coaches warned us that even though we were supposed to be taking this part of the run fast that we should hold back a little on the downhill. Otherwise our quads would kill us at the end of the workout. But overall, we were not supposed to hold back on this hill. It should be at least our 5k pace and if a coach asked us how we were doing all we should be able to get out was "good" and nothing more, because we should be breathing that hard.

I was nervous because the hill defeated me last week. Over and over. Eight times.

So I put in my mind that I wasn't going to let it beat me this time. I had this running conversation in my head the whole time I was running up it.

ME: I'm going to spank you, you *%?#ing hill! Here I come! I'm not even tired yet! This is my FIVE K Pace you *%$#!
HILL: You're not even halfway there yet and you're getting tired
ME: Oh, you don't even KNOW how much endurance I have...and I can almost see the water fountain from here.
HILL: But the water fountain is only halfway.
ME: Well I just hit the waterfountain *&%$ and I STILL have energy.

(Kind of stupid, I know...but I did have a running dialogue in my head).

So I was definitely tired after that hill, and wondering how I was going to make my next tempo run, which was the 1.5 miles around the Reservoir. Luckily, this one was flat AND luckily this one was only at a 10k pace. So I got to slow down a LITTLE. It was still tiring me though. Especially at the end. Kristin was on my tail the whole time, which was great. I think she is right around my pace, so she was pushing me to stay on pace. She passed me at the end though, and I was dying.

I stopped to take a drink at the fountain and had to ask the coach what the next part was (this whole workout was very confusing). The last part was .5 miles recovery. When we got to 90th on the west side we had to run it in with as much speed as we could muster. The problem with this, of course, is that we were all wiped out by this point. So this was the part that was the "test".

You were supposed to be able to get around or better than your last mile test. If you could do it, it meant that your training was going well and that your muscles were strong. If you were off, it meant that you needed to work your muscles more.

I had NO energy. But the recovery did help me a little bit. As we got closer and closer to 90th street I just got that feeling in my stomach that you get when you are going up the hill on the rollercoaster. You know it will be fine, but it's the anticipation of getting there. I had to stop myself from taking the recovery too fast so that I could just get it over with.

When I hit 90th I took off. I felt like I had a lot of range of movement in my legs...like my shins were paralel to the ground when I kicked back (like Bob [Roncker] always said they should be in his running clinic). Don't get me wrong...I was breathing heavily. That mile seemed to last forever. But when I clocked in...8:03!!! I guess my training is going well :)

Now THAT was the kind of workout I feel GREAT after!

Monday, July 28, 2008

TNT Rocks! (The New York Half Marathon)

So, Sunday I went to see the New York Half Marathon. I got up early (well, early for me) and went waaay downtown (like right by where the WTC towers used to be) to cheer for my teammates. I thought this was a great place to cheer because for one, it was the designated "Marine Corps Marathon" cheer spot, and secondly, it was at the end of the marathon, so you got to see everyone finish.

When I got there, I wasn't sure that I was at the right place. I didn't see anyone from TNT. But about 5 minutes later they all came pouring in. There were tons of us! And we were all flapping around signs and ringing cowbells. It was a lot of fun.

I have never cheered on a marathon (or half) before and it is cool to see people make eye contact with you when you are cheering for them. You can tell it really lifts their spirits (it always does mine when I am a runner on the course). I think I was the "warning signal" for the rest of the team. Whenever I saw a purple jersey from far off I would scream "COME ON!" at the top of my lungs and make a lot of noise and then everyone else would join in. It was helpful if they had their name on their jerseys so that I could yell that too (I am awful with names and there are far too many TNT people to remember everyone). It was really exciting.

I was especially excited when I saw my mentor, Gina, coming in. I knew that she was trying for around 9 minute miles and did the calculations in my head as to when she was going to come in. BUT she ended up coming in ahead of her time and she was FLYING. She looked great...just like she was out for a short run around the park. I was so happy for her!

What was really cool was that the whole team stayed until EVERY TNT person finished. That meant that even when the course was being closed down and people were taking down all of the equipment that we were still there cheering. In fact, I think we were cheering even harder. Probably because every single one of us knows how hard it is to run 13.1 miles. I think it is probably even harder when you are the last person on the course and people are shutting everything down around you. So we went crazy for them. It was really cool and I'm glad that we'll have that kind of support during the marathon too!

Washington Bridge Run

On Saturday, our group run was at the George Washington Bridge which is waaaaay up at the top of Manhattan (think 178th street). I was approaching this run with a bit of trepidation. I knew it was a difficult run and for some reason I felt like I had been slacking all week. I really hadn't, but I guess this past week didn't seem like I had been working at 120% like usual :)

I was so afraid I wasn't going to make it on time. Coach Ramon made it clear that we had to be there by 8:30 sharp. My train didn't even show up until 8:11 and I knew that I had to walk a ways from the station to get there.

Luckily, we didn't actually start until 9.

He divided us into groups based on pace and made us leave 2 minutes between each group. We were to run in a single file line across the bridge because it was supposed to be very confusing and very narrow and filled with a lot of bikers. So he called over the 9 minute milers. Then he called 9-10 minute milers. I joined the group, he sent us off and then I heard him call over the 10 minute milers. What?! No! I run with the 10-minute milers! Oh well. Too late, I was already on the bridge.

Turns out that I was glad that I ran with the 9:30 milers. The workout was just my speed. I think that sometimes I just don't give myself enough credit. But it is hard for me to figure out where I should be running. When I started out a couple years ago, I was running too fast. Now I'm trying to figure it out all over again.

Anyway, running across the bridge was AMAZING.I don't care how many times I see the Manhattan skyline from afar...it still amazes me. Plus, the bridge was nice and breezy, and being from Cincinnati, I think it is just an inate thing to love running across bridges. This one was FLAT too, unlike the Brooklyn Bridge is...so even more enjoyable.

When we got into Jersey we ran into Pallisades Park, which is also beautiful. I am not going to lie...it had some KILLER hills. But it was a fun run. Plus, since it was so hot, Coach Ramon and some of the Brooklyn coaches stationed themselves throughout the park with their cars.They had bottles of water for us, Gatorade to refill our fuel belts and pretzels so that we wouldn't get hyponeutremia. (It was kind of like the old days when I ran with the Roncker group and Coach Joe would drive around in the big red truck).

I found three girls who were running just my speed. Luckily too, they wanted to stop at the rest stop like I did (I think I have the smallest bladder in the world). So we went a little off track from the rest of the group (Ramon said if you had to stop, instead of turning around and running back up to catch up with the other runners to stay on the trail with the river to your right and you would meet up with them. It actually turned out that this was the more scenic route. So we were glad we had to make the pit stop. The only bad thing is that something STUNG me. Right in the ankle. And it REALLY HURT. But too bad. We were only like 3 miles into our 14.4 mile run. I think Kelly (the girl I was running with) was afraid I was going to keel over and die, even though I told her I wasn't allergic.

The rest of the run was actually really nice. The change of scenery made up for the horrid hills. Besides, I have to figure that there is some kind of payoff to doing all of these hills :)

Going back over the bridge the other way we had an even BETTER view of the Manhattan skyline. I love our "field-trip" runs. :)

(Oh yeah, and from now on, I am going to pace with the 9:30 runners on my long runs).

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Yoga

Last night was a yoga night for me. I kept thinking that this was probably a good thing since I did hills the night before and probably could use the extra stretching.

The problem was that I was pretty much not into it. So I wasn't pushing myself on my stretches. I mean, it was really bad. Like when the girl on the DVD was like "look at Kristen if you can't go all the way into the stretch" I looked at what Kristen was doing, decided that I couldn't even do that, and then just held a resting position like Downward Facing Dog. Therefore I'm pretty sure I got almost nothing out of the workout. (Although I slacked through the entire workout I did partake in the relaxing stretches at the end and deep breathing where you just lay on the floor all the way. I guess I am sort of like Chicken LIttle's friends who ate the bread but didn't do any of the work.)

I also decided that it was time for me to get new running shoes. So after mulling over what to do about that a million times and getting opinions from both Bill and my mentor, Gina, I decided to get the same kind: the Adidas Supernova Cushion. Here was the reasoning: basically, I used to have some knee problems until I got them. I need a more cushioned shoe since I am a mid striker. I went in twice for a fitting at Roncker's (where they put you on the treadmill, look at your shoes and how they have worn, make you walk around a gajillion times, look at your feet and how you stand, etc). At my fitting they put me in the same shoe twice. So I'm guessing the odds are pretty good that I should be in that shoe. Plus, (as Gina so kindly pointed out) we are into some heavy duty mileage. So switching shoes could actually result in injury. Besides, Runner's World always ranks that shoe really high in their yearly analysis of shoes.

So, tomorrow I am going to head over to JackRabbit to pick up a new pair. I hope they have the pink ones in stock!

Also: I think I found out why Ramon makes US run crazy workouts...he is crazy himself. He just completed the Vermont 100 last weekend (that's 100 MILES!). Now that is hard core. Anyway, there was a nice little writeup about him on Inside Nike Running here if you'd like to check it out.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Rotten Egg

(As in "the last one in is...)

I seriously think that Ramon is trying to kill the advanced group.

Last night's workout was killer. And it was just mean that the whole time it looked like it was going to rain, but never did. I was drinking water the whole day in anticipation. I don't think it's good when your ponytail is soaked all the way through before you even finish your warmup. I think it's the dewpoint that is actually killing us. The air was so heavy. Yuck. Anyway, onto the important stuff, the workout:

From East 72nd warmup to the bottom of Harlem Hill (the top of the park, which is around 110th street).
4 x Harlem Hill (which is steep and long with varying inclines) – speed up to the top, recover on the downhill
4 x Lasker Hill (which is winding so that you can't see the end, but not as steep) – speed up to the top, recover on the downhill
Easy back to East 72nd

Even the warmup tired me out yesterday. I was feeling gross and tired because of the heat and therefore I couldn't push as much as I usually do. As a result I was DEAD LAST in our advanced group. And I mean, by a LOT. I hate that. On the recoveries I was okay and caught up with the people in front of me, so at least I could chat a little...but I absolutely hated being last up the hill. I just couldn't will my legs to go any faster.

And those were some hard hills. My legs started to hurt immediately ( like in a "working hard" way, not a "pain" way).

The goal was to build up and push through the lactic acid. I'm still not exactly sure about lactic acid. I've had the whole thing explained to me several times, but the whole concept is sort of over my head.

I was also having issues and couldn't find the restroom at Lasker Pool. By the time I got to the Boathouse the restrooms were locked for the night. So basically I had to deal with stomach issues on top of everything else.

It was not a good workout for me. I know that normally I could have pushed myself harder. But I am just happy that I finished it. I mean, it WAS a killer workout. In fact, it pretty much exhausted me. By the time I got home (9ish) I just wanted to go to bed. I was even having a hard time staying up for the delivery guy (I rewarded myself with a pizza:) .

On Saturday we have a "bridge run" which everyone was moaning and groaning about. When I asked why they said that it was just a really hilly, really tough workout. I can't wait until July (which Coach Ramon dubbed "hill month") is over!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Run For Central Park

Yesterday was the Run for Central Park. It was a four mile race which started on the east side, crossed over at 102nd and went down to the 72nd street traverse on the west side.

Let me just say, it was the most organized race ever! It was the biggest NYRR race I've seen so far. When you sign up for a NYRR race, they always ask you for a PR for a mile. The mile must be within a race that is longer than a mile. For me, my PR came from my last NYRR race, and was 8:07. I didn't know this at the time I signed up, but they used this number to determine corrals. So I was a little intimidated to be in the third corral with all of the 8 minute milers. (But it was also kind of cool to be so far up front). I was also with my friend Jen, from Cincinnati. The night before, we had decided to run this one as a fun run, sticking together, talking the whole way, enjoying the scenery, and running around a 9 minute pace. We also decided to take it easy and leave our drinking/partying/going out for Saturday instead of Friday.

Stupidly, we didn't really follow this rule. We went out for Mexican the night before (why did we think this was a good idea?), and shared a pitcher of Red Sangria with my husband. We were having a great time and decided to go across the street to get something else from the wine store to continue on our sun deck. We were dead set on hard liquor (once again, why did we think this was a good idea?) and finished off several rum and cokes that night. Around mile 3, Jen attributed our feelings of having the worse race ever to what she affectionately dubbed this the "Mexican Pirate Trifecta" (Fish tacos, rum and insane heat/humidity). It was SO HOT.

It also didn't help that the clock on my first mile said 8:40. Since we were about a minute off of the pace clock, that means I took the first one out around a 7:40. This first mile was also on Cat Hill. No wonder I felt completely tired. The humidity absolutely killed me and make me feel like my legs were made of rocks. At mile three I just chalked it up to the worst race ever and just wanted to finish.

However, I cannot let myself give up at the end and for the final 50 feet or so I kicked it in. I have no idea how I did this because I really felt like I was going to die. I finished with a 36:36. That's a 9:09 pace. I have NO IDEA how we did that because I really did feel awful. :)

Oh yeah, I didn't feel THAT bad about my pace because a lot of the runners in the first corral (I'm guessing that they were faster than 7 minute mile pace) were also finishing around us.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Blah

Warning: This is a TMI post.
But here's the thing...I just got an email from TNT listing out things that runners are too embarrassed to ask. So the fact that enough people had these problems to warrant an email means that I am not weird (I guess) so I figure I can write about them.

Lately I have not been feeling too good on my runs. I have no idea what I am doing differently, but I have to keep stopping at the bathroom. It totally sucks.

Last night I ran my Tuesday night workout. It was supposed to be a full loop in Central Park at 85% effort. Unfortunately I have been working like crazy for a big presentation (tomorrow!) so I had to skip out on my group workout. I hate when this happens because group workouts really push me, plus I love running with all of my TNT friends.

ANYWAY, I had to cut my 6 miles down to 5 miles because my stomach was NOT happy. Plus, I averaged a 9:24 when I know I could have been faster. This has happened to me on my last 3 runs and it is ticking me off.

Really, I am not eating/drinking that differently. But its like IMMEDIATELY after I start my warmup my stomach feels awful.

I hope it stops acting up for this weekend. We have our group race, the Run for Central Park. I am looking forward to it, especially since my friend Jen, from Cincinnati, is going to run it with me! I just picked up the shirts today and they look kind of cool, which is always a good thing!

Oh well, guess I'd better take some TUMs with me just in case.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Cincinnati Running

This past week was my first time running back in Cincinnati since the Flying Pig. I decided to hit the Lunken Bike Path, because I wimped out on the Cincinnati hills. Plus, it was conveniently located and I could keep track of my mileage (each loop is 5 miles). So...I realized that running in Cincinnati vs New York is really really quite different!

CINCY: Humidity is out of control
NY: Humidity is WAY out of control (my parents think it is because I live in a concrete jungle).

CINCY:I counted 12 bunnies in my path on my run
NY: The only wildlife I've ever seen in Central Park are pigeons, wrens and carriage horses

CINCY: Bikers who announce their presence politely and stay out of your way
NY: Bikers who try to run you over and then curse you out for something or other

CINCY:About 6 other runners on a Saturday morning
NY:Too many runners/walkers/bikers/tourists to count

CINCY:I can hear my footfalls
NY: I can hear traffic

CINCY: When you are finished you get in your car and drive to get home
NY: When you are finished you get on the subway and try to stay as far away from people as you can since you are disgustingly sweaty

I also noticed that the humidity is DIFFERENT. This was weird to me, because I always thought humidity was humidity, but I guess I was wrong. For the first time, I actually FELT it in my lungs. It felt like it was pressing down on them and made the first mile or so hard to breathe until I got used to it. I was also very surprised that New York seems to be MORE humid. I always thought Cincinnati was the most humid place around. Of course, I am not gauging this through any scientific method...just the ponytail test. My ponytail wasn't soaked through after my 10 miles like it usually is in New York after my warm-up.

Anyway, I'm sure Coach Ramon has some crazy hill workout planned for us tomorrow. So I'm glad that today is a rest day. :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Hills AND Speed

It's always bad when your coach's email contains the subject "Tonight's Workout – LUCKY YOU!" I read through it at work and decided that I pretty much didn't want to go to practice. :) It seems everyone else in the advance group felt the same way. Our turnout was slimmer than usual and we didn't have any coaches sign up at our meeting spot for a LONG TIME. One of the girls suggested the 5-minute rule (if no coaches show up in 5 minutes we don't have to practice).

I was glad when they did show up because I was thoroughly confused by the workout description and needed it to be recapped to me. Even the coaches said they had to read through it about three times before they understood it. Here it is:

"You are going to do 2 x 2 mile(aprox) repeats, plus a little warm up.
We are warming up a lower loop with a couple of intervals (about 1/4 mile each) in the middle. From East 72nd street heading west bound and south to East 64th street, once you get there you'll start your first pick up to the Traffic light on 59th street and entrance of 7th ave then Recover to East 64th street then start your next pick up which goes to Eat 68th street. Then recover to East 72nd street.

NOW you'll start your 2 mile repeats.
The two mile consist of a FULL lower loop PLUS Cat Hill !! So, you'll start timing yourself from East 72nd and go around, complete the lower loop and once you get back to East 72nd continue (pushing) north until you get to the traffic light on top of cat hill.
The recovery will be from the top of cathill to Cleopatra's needle and back to East 72nd street. (repeat this a second time)

Goal and description of the workout: This is a TEST. That means you are going to try to run as fast as you can. Of course tomorrow the weather is gonna suck, so, be smart and adjust your effort accordingly, do no expect to get great times. Run by effort, as long as you put the effort you are getting the benefit of the workout.
This should be an decent effort 85%+, but it must be equal effort thru the whole 2 miles.
Time each of the 2 miles. see how well you pace yourself."

You can see why everyone was confused.

It was also very HOT out, so I wasn't really sure how to pace at 85% effort. The first two 1/4 speed intervals SUCKED. I had no idea how I was going to do 2-mile repeats at a good clip afterwards. Especially since they involved Cat Hill at the end. Despite how I FELT though, I was doing pretty good. My times were right on track in keeping a consistent 9-minute mile pace when I was pushing it, which is REALLY good in that weather. Also, the girls I usually run with (Nicole and MaryAnne) dropped behind me pretty early on. Nicole and I usually keep the same pace, but MaryAnne is a bit faster than me, so I figured I was doing okay if I was ahead of her.

Cat Hill absolutely killed me though. I felt like I was running through wet cement. The other thing that sucks is that most of the workout was on the east side of the park. Now, the west side definitely has more rolling hills. But the east side has what the mentor Marissa calls "sneaky hills". And it has a LOT of them. The way I define sneaky hills is this: they are hills that do not look like hills. In fact, it looks like you are running on flat ground unless you look waaaay far ahead....then you see that they are actually uphill climbs. If for some reason you don't notice this by sight, you notice it when your legs feel HEAVY.

So it was a TOUGH workout.

But it was one of those workouts that make you feel like you actually accomplished something when you are finally finished.

Also, I decided to bring a towel with me to that practice for afterwards. How smart! Why didn't I think of that before? :)

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Long Run

I was pretty much dreading my long run on Saturday morning. It's not even like Bill and I stayed up late or anything, but I was just so tired and pretty much didn't feel like running. AND I knew that I would have a good excuse since a lot of people wouldn't be there. When the alarm went off I asked Bill "Do I HAVE to run today?" He said I didn't have to run 15 miles, but I should at LEAST run 6. I angrilly got out of bed and said "Well then, I might as well run 15." Which is pretty funny in retrospect. I am a total grouch in the morning.

It was pretty slim attendance. By the time we started our run though, there were about 100 people there. I was so happy, because Ramon said that the runs today were going to be between 8-12 miles. Whoo-hoo! He also told us that we should TAKE IT EASY because it was so humid out. He told us that you don't get faster by taking your long runs out faster. You get faster by pushing yourself on the speed workouts (Tuesdays and sometimes also Thursdays). The long runs are merely to increase endurance.

I actually had a nice run!

We did the full 12 (two loops) at a 10 minute pace. At the end I had enough energy to book it in. I figured that this was good because Ramon said that we should be able to increase our pace by 30 seconds for the last 25% of our run. He also said that we should have enough energy to add on two more miles without too much of a problem. This is the first time that I have felt that way, so I think that maybe I have found my pace!

Tonight we have a pretty tough workout though. I am not looking forward to it. Hill repeats of course, and I didn't really understand EXACTLY what we were doing, but I know it included 2x 2 miles HARD. And he called it a "test" which is never good.

This week is going to suck for my running because I am travelling and it is always hard to keep up on my workouts when I am not at home. I will certainly make an effort, but 15 miles on my own for my long run is not going to be easy. :(

Thursday, July 3, 2008

I'm No Longer 18

No kidding, right?

But lately, I've had to remind myself of this.

When I first started dating Bill we went to a pizza place for dinner and got a large pizza, and a calzone (because he wanted one). As he ate his calzone, I finished the entire pizza. I think he was a little surprised, but I said "I TOLD you I eat a lot when I'm swimming." Which was true.

But since college, I really haven't been able to/wanted to do this. I was noticing my metabolism slowing down as well. Well, I think I need to remind myself of this from time to time while I am training.

Since I started Team in Training, I have been eating CONSTANTLY. It's crazy, because I usually don't get this way until much much later in the season. So I don't know if it's because I'm just running more often, or if it's because the past two years of running have sped up my metabolism, or if it's just because I am running harder. It is probably a little of all three. But I am always eating. And I have been really good about eating healthily. But the past two weeks I have sort of been falling off the wagon (eating-wise). Last night, for example, Bill sent me this article at work about this guy who blogs about pizza. It made me want pizza really badly and we ordered from our favorite in our neighborhood, Cafe Viva. We got a large. Now in Cincinnati, a large is an accomplishment. But in New York, NO ONE finishes a large. I mean, people usually order one slice and it's a meal. Bill and I finished the WHOLE THING. And then later, I had ice cream.

I SO felt it today on my run. I just felt like crap. It seemed hot and sticky (even though it was only 86 and mild humidity...much less than usual). I was tired and having a hard time breathing and my stomach hurt. The mini-hills were killing me. I told Bill I would be happy to finish our four miles at a 10 minute pace.

I didn't realize until after the run that it was probably my bad eating habits that were making me feel gross. Hmmm. That's not good, going into a long summer weekend :)
Oh, how I long for those days when I could eat whatever and jump in the pool to swim my race and not have it effect me at all!

Oh, by the way...I did finish my run at 37:24 (a 9:21 pace). Not bad for feeling awful.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Treadmill? In the Summer?

Yes, I was forced to do a treadmill workout tonight. I got bogged down at work and didn't make it to practice. Last year, this would have meant that I just felt badly about missing the workout (especially since tonight's was a hill workout). This year it means that I got to do Coach Ramon's alternative treadmill workout.

I hate the treadmill.

Fortunately everyone that used to go to the gym in my apartment during the winter is either working out outside or has better things to do than workout. So I got to watch "the Simpsons" while I did hills.

This was my workout. (All done at 6.3 mph).

8 minutes warmup
Repeat the following, 3x:
2 minutes at incline 2
3 minutes at incline 6
2 minutes at incline 1
5 minutes recovery

When I was warming up I was thinking that maybe I should increase the speed. Even after the 2 minutes at incline 2 I was feeling like I was slacking a bit. But then I got to incline 6. It really IS like running a for real hill. I don't think I've ever had the incline up so high on the treadmill. Luckily, it was only 3 minutes. It was do-able, but I was breathing hard. By the end of the workout I was dripping sweat. I'm glad I didn't decide to increase the pace. It seemed just right for me.

I'm wondering if anyone is going to even show up for the group workout on the 5th. I'm thinking that maybe there will be 10 people. Most everyone I know is going to the shore for the weekend. OR partying too much to worry about getting up in the morning to do 14-16 miles. I'll be there though. :)

If You're Happy and You Know It

It seems like my thighs are getting larger again :(

How do I know this?

Because every time I go to sit down, they bang together and make a really loud clapping noise. My thighs are clapping!!! And you can hear it all the way across the apartment. So loud that Bill had to ask "What was that?"

Hahahahaha.