On Hiatus

Well, the running officially stopped for me two weeks ago. Honestly, I just haven't been able/too willing to get out to do it anyways. At least I got one last race in, and while I didn't break any records, I did end up feeling great about my accomplishment.

And as of yesterday the workouts have stopped as well. I was actually doing really well on these...keeping them up despite the fact that I was done with them mentally. But by direct order of my OB I need to take it easy and not overexert myself. Since this was not really a "clear" directive, Bill even asked "So...no running?" which she laughed at and said "No running, no workouts."

Why? Well, I am scheduled for a c-section because my baby decided to be as stubborn as his parents and not turn out of his breech position despite everything we have tried (back bends, labor lunges, downward facing dogs, shining a flashlight on my abdomen, playing music to my abdomen, and some more serious methods too, like accupuncture, moxibustion and even a very painful ECV) . Since I've been showing a lot of pre-labor symptoms she doesn't want me to actually go into labor before my scheduled c-section.

I can't pretend I am not bummed about this.

Actually, running and working out was the furthest thing from my mind when this whole c-section thing started to be talked about. Well, except for the fact that I was cursing it. All I could think of was that book I read with all of the statistics saying that women athletes have a lower c-section rate, deliver early, deliver easier, etc etc etc. I was just like "It's so unfair! I've done everything right!" In a way I didn't even want to work out anymore because I was like "What's the point? I've been pushing myself to work out even though I didn't want to because of all of the so-called benefits, and I'm not even able to reap them on the most basic thing!"

Plus, I KNOW it is crazy but I was looking forward to labor. There are just so many comparisons to marathons that I wanted to know if it would help me out that I was a runner. I wanted to prove myself just like I do with every race. I knew I could do it, and I knew I could be strong and I knew I could master my body and my mind and I wanted to feel accomplished about it. Throughout pregnancy I have been reminded of how our bodies are so awesome the way that they work and accomodate to things (just like in running a marathon). So I kind of feel robbed, like I have no control over the whole thing. I won't actually be giving birth, my doctor will be delivering my baby. And the only thing I can test is my pain threshold.

Oh well.

I also have to take a much longer break from getting back into working out since this is considered major abdominal surgery. According to everything I read, I shouldn't even think about running for a couple of months. I know, I know, I will be busy with everything else anyway. Even so, right now it sucks.

So yes, a downer post and a horrible way to say goodbye for (possibly) months. I don't mean to be so negative, but writing is therapeutic for me in the same way running is. That's why this is not my last post. I still have to recount my story from the Fitness 4-mile race, which is a good one, even if it was two weeks ago.

Running = Therapy

I saw this on a shirt once. (Or maybe it was "Running is Cheaper than Therapy"). I never really bought into it all that much, and not because it didn't work, or that running doesn't always make me feel better, but that I just think there are so many other benefits to running for me, that outrank the therapy one.

This weekend though, I came to the realization that during my pregnancy running DOES equal therapy. Maybe its because while I feel like the tangible physical benefits are much less than before I DO feel the psychological benefits.

I actually feel like my long runs with Bill have become my emotional dump sessions. No matter how the runs start, when they get about halfway through I end up dumping all of the stress that I've had. Some of it is just incredibly silly stress and some of it is more substantial stress. All of it is stress that I don't realize I am stressing about until I get out there and run and talk it out. So I think that running has a great psychological benefit to pregnant women in addition to all of the physical ones (earlier births, lighter babies, less back pain, easier sleeping). I mean, everything you read about being pregnant always emphasizes that you shouldn't be stressing out about anything...which, for a type A person like me is sometimes kind of funny. (I think I told Bill "Haha. Try to avoid stress? Just another thing to stress about!")

I am getting slower and slower, but I think I have finally for real come to terms with it. I guess articles like the ones in Runner's World this month help make me realize that it is a huge accomplishment to be running this far along anyways (I just passed the 35th week mark this weekend...that means that next week I will be starting my 9th month!), which always helps.

I am actually now officially walk-running instead of run-walking. It just helps a lot with all of the calf muscle tightness I experience now. But I still logged 4 miles. And I still kept an impressive pace for me. So that makes me happy :)

Enough of These Heat Waves!

All right. Really? ANOTHER heat wave? This is what...number 12 or something for this summer? And really...it is September now. I am totally itching to go out for a run and having a hard time sticking to the pregnancy rule of 85 degrees and under. I swear, if I have to do my prenatal workout dvd one more time I might just go crazy.

The heat must also be making me crazy because I was working on an image board for work and my task was to find images of athletic women's empowerment. Of course I thought of all the great signs and ads etc from the Nike Women's Marathon and started looking for images of that online. And as I was scrolling through them I saw the identity for the 2010 Nike Women's Marathon (which is so much cooler and much more hardcore than last years). Anyway, it made me want to run that marathon again. I SWORE I would never run that marathon again, but I was seriously thinking about reconsidering that for the future.

This is not the first time I am missing training for marathons. I mean, it has been a substantial part of my life for three years now. Argh. Frustrating.

But I am looking forward to my next race, which is next weekend (the 11th). It is only 4 miles but that is a substantial amount for me now. Besides, it will feel good to "race" again, like I am doing something back from my "normal" life. :)