On Hiatus

Well, the running officially stopped for me two weeks ago. Honestly, I just haven't been able/too willing to get out to do it anyways. At least I got one last race in, and while I didn't break any records, I did end up feeling great about my accomplishment.

And as of yesterday the workouts have stopped as well. I was actually doing really well on these...keeping them up despite the fact that I was done with them mentally. But by direct order of my OB I need to take it easy and not overexert myself. Since this was not really a "clear" directive, Bill even asked "So...no running?" which she laughed at and said "No running, no workouts."

Why? Well, I am scheduled for a c-section because my baby decided to be as stubborn as his parents and not turn out of his breech position despite everything we have tried (back bends, labor lunges, downward facing dogs, shining a flashlight on my abdomen, playing music to my abdomen, and some more serious methods too, like accupuncture, moxibustion and even a very painful ECV) . Since I've been showing a lot of pre-labor symptoms she doesn't want me to actually go into labor before my scheduled c-section.

I can't pretend I am not bummed about this.

Actually, running and working out was the furthest thing from my mind when this whole c-section thing started to be talked about. Well, except for the fact that I was cursing it. All I could think of was that book I read with all of the statistics saying that women athletes have a lower c-section rate, deliver early, deliver easier, etc etc etc. I was just like "It's so unfair! I've done everything right!" In a way I didn't even want to work out anymore because I was like "What's the point? I've been pushing myself to work out even though I didn't want to because of all of the so-called benefits, and I'm not even able to reap them on the most basic thing!"

Plus, I KNOW it is crazy but I was looking forward to labor. There are just so many comparisons to marathons that I wanted to know if it would help me out that I was a runner. I wanted to prove myself just like I do with every race. I knew I could do it, and I knew I could be strong and I knew I could master my body and my mind and I wanted to feel accomplished about it. Throughout pregnancy I have been reminded of how our bodies are so awesome the way that they work and accomodate to things (just like in running a marathon). So I kind of feel robbed, like I have no control over the whole thing. I won't actually be giving birth, my doctor will be delivering my baby. And the only thing I can test is my pain threshold.

Oh well.

I also have to take a much longer break from getting back into working out since this is considered major abdominal surgery. According to everything I read, I shouldn't even think about running for a couple of months. I know, I know, I will be busy with everything else anyway. Even so, right now it sucks.

So yes, a downer post and a horrible way to say goodbye for (possibly) months. I don't mean to be so negative, but writing is therapeutic for me in the same way running is. That's why this is not my last post. I still have to recount my story from the Fitness 4-mile race, which is a good one, even if it was two weeks ago.