Balance

Okay, so this whole balance thing is working out a little better for me, but maybe that's because I haven't actually worked out in a whole week :) I have had this pesky cold that would NOT go away. I figured out that having a cold while not getting a full night's sleep every night basically makes a cold last about ten times longer. Liam (of course) had a cold too, so neither of us were at our best last week.

However, it seems the whole work thing is working out a little better now. We have a girl coming in to watch Liam once a week so that I can get work done during the day and not from nine to whenever I finish. It makes me WANT to work out again and look forward to those midday runs.

I think that is the best part about working from home -- I can run during the day.

I do feel like I need to kick my butt in gear trainingwise. I have the More Half Marathon coming up in (eek) 11 days and I am feeling very unprepared. Taking a week off due to sickness is always frustrating. But I have to remember that up until last week I was totally on track with my training.

I think this one is not going to be run for time, but to finish. I feel like that is a major copout, but I'm just not feeling it yet...which is one of the things I want to work on this year. I have this theory that running for me is far more mental than physical. That's why I can kick butt in practice but not live up to my expectations for the race. I am still looking for that marathon that I can be happy with. I'm hoping it's right around the corner in November :)

Barefoot!

So I've been looking for something to get me so totally pumped about running that I just can't wait to go out for quite awhile now. I started by reading Once a Runner (you know, that book that is supposed to be the be all and end all of running?). I must say, I pretty much hated that book. It was terrible! Terribly written and I hated the characters and I only sort of cared if he could make his goal in the mile. Then I realized that this wasn't the book that was recommended to me by all my running friends...Born to Run was! So I went ahead and ordered it, and since I know that after reading it I am going to want to become one of those "barefoot" runners I just went ahead and got the shoes.

After some extensive reading on the subject, I got the model meant specifically for running – the Bikila. And while I was at it, I opted for the magenta ones.

They are kind of a pain to put on, but once they are on they are very comfy. I've only walked around them in the house and they don't feel as barefooty as I thought they would, but I'm sure I will feel differently after I've run in them.

You're supposed to start off super slow with them...like logging only 1-2 miles slow and wearing them only every other day. The girl at Super Runners told me that my calves will definitely hurt. I'm hoping that means I will get some crazy(er) calf muscles. I'm wondering if they will truly make me run differently. And THEN I wonder if I should be running in some less cushiony shoes then I'm used to in my races so that I don't lose my form too much after I've changed it. But I guess I am getting ahead of myself.

I was all pumped and ready to go on a run with them and then I got this disgusting cold that is making me super run down. I'm hoping I can go out tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

Oh Freetime, I Miss You So

I pretty much haven't been writing about running because I pretty much don't have time to write about running :)

I HAVE been running, though not as much as I want to. It's funny because I was going to say that I haven't been running very much, but in comparison to how many days I used to run it's pretty much the same...3x a week. However, I haven't been able to get ANY cross training in. AND those 3x a week that I run seem all the more precious/vital/frustrating because I have no freetime to do anything else (you know, like clean my apartment, which currently looks like a bomb hit it).

Frazzled?

Yes, to say the least. I am still trying to figure out this whole balance thing. I always thought that having the flexibility to work from home would be great because I could have the best of both worlds -- staying at home to take care of Liam, yet still feelling fufilled by working. Instead it just means that I have to work around everyone's schedule except my own. So, even though Liam is getting 12 hours of sleep a night, and Bill is getting 8 hours of sleep a night, I am going going going from the time I wake up (7am) to the time I go to bed (1am on the nights that I work). This means that my runs (and my life) is exhausting AND runs are pretty much the last thing I want to do when I have time to myself.

I am hoping that this will work itself out soon. :( But in the meantime I am trying to back off of myself a little. This means (deep breath) no Flying Pig Marathon. I kind of decided this a couple of weeks ago when I missed two long runs and felt my mileage was now totally screwed up. But I talked to Bill and we decided to "wait and see"...keep training for the marathon, but decide on the day of it whether or not to do the whole or the half. This sounded good at the time.

Then I went through this whole "why do I run" thing. I mean seriously, I was kind of hating on running. A lot. And let's face it: I think I was trying to do this spring marathon to prove to myself that I was still the same old me who could run 2 marathons a year, and to prove to everyone else that I was truly hard core, and to get some kind of crazy body that I've never actually had (more muscular, flat six-packy abs). That's not fun. Running used to be fun. I started thinking about when I trained for my first marathon and how it was so fun and even though it was hard it was kind of an adventure to go for those long runs. I felt so accomplished. And I felt part of a cool tribe of people. I wanted to be like the multiple marathoners in the Roncker's group. They were such cool people. And I also felt like I was becoming one of them. I mean, come on, I used to cry a little sometimes on long runs because I loved them so much and felt so moved by them.

So the new goal is to get back that love. And to run the half marathon. And enjoy it. And not worry so much about all the other crap.

Of course I came to this revelation on a run. (How cliche.)

I also felt like if I ran the marathon and didn't do well I would be crushed...even though just completing the marathon would have been a great accomplishment. That would have made it even harder to run my next one. And since my next one is NYC in November, I want to be in a good place (mentally) with running. I have been waiting to run this race for three years.

Erghhhhhhh. Change. I never deal with it well.
So, we're back to where we started 3 years ago. Not worrying about time, not worrying about past runs, just going out there to have a good time.