Doubt

So, last night we had another speed work exercise.

You know how people say that during taper you get antsy because you aren't running enough? I think the people on my team are just getting antsy, period. We had to wait around (in the dark...I hate how it gets dark so early now) for the coaches to send us out on our workout and everyone was getting annoyed. Everyone was like "Come on, let's go. I don't even want to be here. Let's get this over with." I mean, it HAS been a long season. Bill thinks we are all just anxious to run the marathon and it's so close that it's just making us all crazy and annoyed.

Anyway, last night we had to do three lower loops of the park. Each loop is 1.7 miles. Within those miles we were supposed to time ourselves for one mile to make sure we were keeping pace. Ramon's point was that on Tuesday we do speed work, on Saturdays we run easy, and our marathon pace should be somewhere in between. We need to learn what that feels like. So, the task was that our first mile should be marathon pace, our second should be half marathon pace and our third should be our fastest mile, which should be faster than half marathon pace by at least 45 seconds.

Ugh. I was just not feeling like I could do that.

Besides, I have a REALLY hard time switching between paces. I doubted that I knew what each of those paces felt like (well, except the last which was basically a long-distance sprint...that just feels like me dying.) I find pacing the hardest part of running. It takes so much concentration.

The first loop was hard on my legs. I felt so tight from sitting around all day and my calves were screaming at me. I was also a bit distracted from worrying about pace because the whole time I was talking to the girl I met at the very first practice. She was pretty nervous because she just got back from her honeymoon and took 12 days off of running. I didn't mind chatting with her but I was very nervous that I wouldn't be on pace. I logged a 9:50 for my mile though which was PERFECT.

I thought about stopping in the middle to stretch out my legs but figured that it would all work itself out. I picked up to half marathon pace and my calves were screaming at me. As I hit the hills at the bottom of the east side I promised myself I would stop at the end of that loop to stretch. I logged a 9:10. PERFECT.

I did stop to stretch and then took off again. Stretching REALLY REALLY helped. But I did not feel like I could do a sprint after that. I was pretty tired. I knew that I had to do it though, otherwise I would be worrying that maybe 9:50 for a marathon really wasn't my pace, which just opens up a whole other can of worms. So I picked it up a lot. And actually? It felt really good. I was breathing heavy and could tell I was going to be tired at the end of the workout (which Ramon said we should) but I felt great. So great that I started worrying that I wasn't making the correct time (which should be an 8:25). I decided not to look at my watch to psych myself out, until I finished.

My last mile? 8:17!!!!!!!!!

NO FREAKIN' WAY.

I was so happy.

So I guess I learned from this that I need to stop freaking out about everything and doubting myself. I've done the training, I know how to pace and I know what my marathon pace should be.

But I also know myself. And I know that I will still freak out about it for the next week and a half. Poor Bill. :)