Today I had a HORRIBLE run. I mean, really, really horrible.
I really didn't want to go out in the first place. And I wasn't looking forward to the 16 miles (two loops in the park, run back to Riverside, up to 120th and back to my apartment). Usually though, I start running and after a mile or two I get psyched about finishing. Or I get into a runner's high. Or I just sort of meditate.
But I could not shake my bad mental state today. Every turn I was like "Yes! I'm almost at the hockey rink!" (where I was going to catch up with Bill for a Gu break). But then I would turn the corner and be like "Nope, not here." I was noticing every small incline. I was alternating anger and sadness and apathy. I just DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE. And the fact that I had not reached our 5 mile rest spot and I STILL would have to run 11 miles after that was not making it any better. I have not ever thought of for real quitting a run in the middle (unless I was injured...even then I usually stupidly, finish my run). But I really really really wanted to quit.
Bill waited for me on the hill and asked how things were going. I crossly responded "Sh*tty." We pulled over on a trail where I usually take my Gu and I explained everything to him. He pulled me over to the steps so that we could talk about it. He told me I should finish. He said the one thing he admired about me is how I finish anything no matter what. And that sometimes it is crazy, but I still do it. And if he asks me why I am like "Because. I just need to do it." Normally I would agree with him. But I just felt too crappy. And I told him that for me running is 90% mental and 10% physical. And if my mental is this low it would sort of be like me running with the flu. We sat there for what seemed like forever. And I felt guilty because he was supposed to be doing his 9 miler, which was his longest run so far in his training. Here I was, stopping him at 5.4 miles and being a poop.
We decided that I would finish his 9 miler with him. I would switch my long runs. Next week, instead of doing a 10 (my low mileage week) I would do my 16. I'm not worried about not having a down week between my 16 and 18 because that's actually how I've trained in the past 2 marathons.
Bill stuck by me for the rest of the run (even though I know I was slowing him down). I still was feeling pretty awful for those last 3.6 miles, but it definitely helped. And amazingly, I still logged a 1:26:26 for those 9 miles (a 9:36 pace). That just tells me that it WAS a mental and not physical thing.
Anyway, I'm glad Bill was there. Sometimes it's hard to run on your own and you need a running buddy. :)
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3 comments:
Sorry about your crappy run. I know what a bummer those can be. It's great to have a supportive hubby!
If I've understood right, you went from 10k's straight to the marathon. What inspired you to go to marathon distance, skipping half marathons? I'm training for the pig, but haven't registered yet. I'm scared to commit to the marathon right now. I'm following a training plan, and it's going fine. I've done 5k and 10k's and next weekend will do my first half marathon (it's my 16 mile weekend too - got to figure a way to add another 3 onto my half marathon!) I WANT do to the whole pig....guess I'm just wondering when the confidence kicks in!
hey... i don't know who you are really, but i'm training for my 1st marathon and find reading your stuff a real motivator and relief. i mean, you've run marathons and you're not finding this a cakewalk either- makes me feel slightly more competent! thanks so much for writing this stuff.
I did go from 10Ks to a marathon. I am someone who loves to run before I can walk (I really really didn't mean that as a pun) which, a lot of times gets me in over my head. But I just figured, 'If I'm going to run a half marathon, and I'm running with a running group and a bunch of qualified coaches, and following a plan, why don't I just do the marathon?'I don't know if I would have done it had I been training on my own. At the time I just didn't have the dedication and the running group took a lot of the fear out of it for me. As for your half marathon, I think you're probably okay without adding on another 3 miles that day. Racing is definitely more intensive than running on your own...even if you are keeping the same pace. I would count it as your long run for the week and just keep on the rest of the schedule. (I'm certainly not a coach or anything...but when I have questions like that I just think 'What do I think Coach Joe would say?' He was my Coach at Roncker's. Anyway, that's what I THINK he would say, and that's what I would do in your situation. But everyone's different :)
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