In the Big Scheme of Things...

Saturday was our group run at 10 miles. Our route was an 8 mile loop, ending at the store and then you could add on 2, 3, 4, or 5 miles depending on which marathon you were running.

I started out just fine, with the group I have been running with (I am HORRIBLE at keeping pace, so I now make sure I am running with the same four people...they keep me on track). I actually felt like I had more energy than usual. We ran all the way down to the area by CrossRoads, and when I turned back to start making it into Norwood I DIED. I felt like someone took a powerful magic ray and just ZAPPED all of the energy out of me...you know, like in the cartoons. I stopped for my first water break, hoping I was just in need of some liquid or something. Mind you, I was only at 3.25 miles at this point. My hair was already soaking wet (did I mention that I don't usually sweat?). The water did help a little, but then I just felt zapped again. It didn't help that by this time most of the group had split up even further. This always happens at water stops, because some people take longer than others. But usually we all catch up with each other after a little bit. So I was running solo for what seemed like forever. It was funny too, because we ran this route a few weeks ago (but backwards) and it just flew by. I passed a guy that can usually kick my butt, who was walking. I passed some more people walking. It was awful, but I was glad to see that I wasn't the only one dying. It made me feel less like it was just a mental block or something.

Second water stop, two miles to go. The longest two miles of my life. The endless debate started in my head 'can I stop at 8? No, you have to do 10. But I am sooooo tired. Too bad, you signed up for this...are you going to stop in the marathon when you are tired?' I passed another walking girl. I saw the woman ahead of me stop to walk. I now looked like I had taken a shower. I made a deal with myself: 'if you RUN the rest of the way back to the store...no walking, you can stop at 8.' So I did it. I figured in the big scheme of things 2 miles was not going to make a difference when I felt like I did.

When I went up to get my keys, I saw that a lot of other people in my general pace group were stopping too. And on the way to my car I saw the woman who was in front of me in the last two miles. She told me she just didn't think she could go any more, and she wanted to do 5 more miles. I said "No way. I'm quitting. I wanted to do two more but it is just way too humid out here." I still feel like a quitter, even through all of my rationalization :)